I am now based in London with regular stays in Paris, as well as a busy international travel schedule. Any travel dates are posted as soon as confirmed, so if you hope to see me somewhere other than London, be sure to check my itinerary before attempting contact.
I am happy to consider travelling to suitable gentlemen (in parts of the world I care to visit), as long as my travel expenses are covered and time compensated. If this is your wish, then you are most welcome to send an application. If you hope to see me somewhere other than London, England, or Paris, France, but you cannot cover my travel expenses, kindly do not send emails asking me to contact you when I will be travelling to your part of the world. Show your initiative and keep track of me, rather than asking me to keep track of you. Any travel plans I have will be posted on all of my websites and social media as soon as the dates are confirmed. Let them be your guide as to when you should attempt arrangements.
To be considered, you must pay close attention to the following paragraphs and respond accordingly.
The obvious: I am extremely selective, and all applications are vetted with a strict eye. A lack of willingness to send an application as I have outlined shows an inability to follow basic instructions. All such individuals will be disqualified, with pleasure.
It should not surprise you that etiquette is important to me, so be certain to address me by name (i.e., Dear Mistress Eleise), and to sign with your name or nom de guerre, which should be unique enough that you do not get lost amongst the 10,000 other ‘John Smiths’ who thoughtlessly applied.
Your application must outline your experience, interests, hard limits, medical considerations, and what you would hope to achieve in a scene with me – along with any other information pertinent to your situation. If you have verifiable references, attach them in the post script. (Etiquette dictates that you contact your referee first to ask permission, and to alert her that I will be in touch.) Do not forget to give your location; it is essential – and be sure to provide a selection of dates and times you are available, so that I can see where our schedules align, being sure that you give a minimum of 48 hours’ notice and keeping in mind that I do not accept appointments before 2:00 p.m. If you have questions, you may add them after your completed application. Any applicant of the correct mindset will understand the importance of properly answering my questions before hoping I might entertain his.
Aside from applications to serve me, courteous and intelligent messages are also always welcome. I am overwhelmingly pleased by the quality of those drawn to my work, as proven by the delightfully literate and creative mail I am presented with. Do understand that while all appropriate letters will be passed on to me by my secretary and I will read and appreciate each personally, I do not have as much time to reply as one would wish.
As much as I would prefer to handle my own correspondence, the scale of it these days makes it impossible. My PA now handles all appointments. Rest assured that I do see your application, to be certain that we are a good match and have a clear understanding before we meet – but the original filtering and subsequent replies will be handled by my PA. That said, a tiered system is in place. The mail of long-time correspondents is flagged to be passed, unopened, on to me. Regular visitors will also be given my telephone contact so that they can make arrangements discreetly by text (the protocols for which are explained by email upon receipt of the number). I never give my phone number to strangers – and never chat on the phone, regardless – so if you do not already know me well, you needn’t ask for it. Text gets the speediest reply, so regular visitors are prioritised over new.
I know you are too considerate and clever to need to be told this, but this page doesn’t know it’s you (the shining exception among the masses!) reading this paragraph – so it must stand, due to the immensity of the problem. If you have written and are waiting for a reply, please do NOT send unnecessary ‘follow-up’ emails in an attempt to push for a speedier response or extra attention. Rest assured, my secretary is both extremely efficient and far from titillating – so your email will be replied to as quickly as is possible, with no fantasy chit-chat. Those who insist on needlessly overloading my very stressed inbox, thereby selfishly adding to my secretary’s workload, will be replied to last, if at all. Your understanding of this is appreciated. Remember, patience is an essential quality for anyone who hopes to connect with me, especially as I have no patience of my own to spare!
Do be aware that I am not seeking personal slaves and such requests will not receive a reply. If you had planned to make such a request, please do not waste your valuable time doing so. My stable is full, and so is the waiting list.
I thank you for being literate, curious, and courteous enough to read this to the end. Those are very appealing qualities you’re sporting. I’m sure we’ll get on swimmingly.
Keeping in mind all the advice found here, you may write to email@example.com.